New Mexico Update

E. Shirley Baca, Her Story is Full of ............

2005-06-01T12:10:00.000-06:00

E. Shirley Baca is off the hook! She was not read her Miranda rights, so the case against her was dropped. If you will recall, E. Shirley was caught with a baggie of pot and a pipe in her carry-on bag by our security forces at the Albuquerque airport. Her story, now that the charges have been dropped, is that she was framed by either a fellow Public Utility Commissioner, a PUC staffer, or the security force at the airport.

The police are actively involved with Ms. Baca to find the culprits in this crime. In addition, E. Shirley has successfully completed a lie detector test administered by the APD. Oh, by the way, the previous two sentences are completely fabricated by me.

By all outward appearances, E. Shirley Baca is a self-righteous delusional loon. I, for one, would have had more respect for Ms. Baca if she had claimed that aliens from the "Mother Ship" had planted the marijuana in her luggage, or alternatively if the aliens had compelled her to put the pot into her luggage and then systematically erased her memory. At least, then, her story would be plausible, and she could take a tried and true method of explaining her actions that has been used by so many of the world's wackos.

By the way, if you are concerned about protecting yourself from such electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers, please click here.

But there is good news. E. Shirley has joined forces with O. J Simpson, Robert Blake and the wrongly convicted and imprisoned Scott Peterson to jointly find the real culprits in their respective criminal cases. The new group will be called the "Crime Reduction Action Police" or CRAP for short. I for one congratulate E. Shirley Baca on her newly found commitment and dedication to CRAP. Well done!

Pictures and Audio from Albuquerque City Council Living Wage Debate

2005-05-26T11:23:00.000-06:00

It was a lively public showing at the Albuquerque City Council last night, with a display of solidarity and collectivism rarely seen in the Duke City. The assembled throng of comrades that testified were both entertaining and enlightening. Whipped into a frenzy by their ACORN supporters and fellow liberal do-gooder Martin (I'm Reich and you're Wrong) Heinreich, the group began the evening with a rousing song performed by Scythe Sickle and his orchestra complete with a full horn section outside of Council Chambers before proceeding inside to testify. Click here to listen.

In addition, New Mexico Update has obtained a group picture of the assembled supporters of the Living Wage proposal.

After a rousing three hours of testimony, the group handed out copies of the book that they were using to support their position. Copies are available on Amazon.com, Click here to order your copy.

All in all, a good time was had by all. Stay tuned.

Cannon Air Force Base: Back to the Future

2005-05-16T10:18:00.000-06:00

There is a scene in the movie "Back to the Future” when Marty McFly travels back in time to when his uncle was a baby and enjoyed being in his playpen. Marty knew this uncle would later in life spend a great deal of this life in jail. The line goes something like this: Marty: So you're my Uncle Joey. Better get used to these bars, kid.

In my opinion, the closing of Cannon Air Force base is New Mexico’s wake up call for future levels of federal government money and jobs. They will go down for a long time to come. Federal Government: So you’re New Mexico. Better get used to these funding cuts, kids.

As drastic as the cuts at Cannon will be if the Pentagon’s closure list is accepted by the BRAC, Congress and the President, it is nothing like the dramatic future reductions in funding levels that New Mexico will face over the next 20 years. Here’s why.

1. Senator Domenici will eventually either die or leave office. By virtue of his sonority and tireless hard work, Pete has kept the federal dollars flowing to New Mexico. Unfortunately, Pete can’t go on forever. Senator Bingaman while lacking Domenici’s work ethic and influence is also long in the tooth. It is a question of when, not if New Mexico will loose its high ranking duo of senators.

2. While Heather Wilson and Steve Pearce have the makings of great politicians for New Mexico over the long-term, the fact that New Mexico only has three representatives will reduce their ability to sway policy from the House of Representatives. In addition, both may eventually be candidates for a Senate seat.

3. Tom Udall will continue to be reelected as far as the eye can see. In my opinion, his only redeeming quality is his ability to get reelected. The flies on the wall in Washington tell me he is not respected in the Democrat caucus in the House for either his intellect or work ethic. If the House stays strongly Republican his influence and effectiveness promise to be nearly zero.

4. The federal budget deficits need to be reduced. This means less money for every state, even New Mexico.

So what can we do? There is this economic force that many other states have used over the years to grow their overall economies. It’s called the private sector. New Mexico better get on the path to becoming the most business friendly state in the nation in order to attract private business growth. If not we may find ourselves in an economic dust bowel for years to come. Let’s not let our state go Back in the Future!

Let the Political Whining Begin

2005-05-13T16:16:00.000-06:00

The Pentagon has announced its list of suggested military facility closures. In case any of you politicos out there have been late to issue your self righteous missive regarding the inappropriateness of the closure of a facility in your area, I have conveniently put one below that you can use for your press releases and interviews with the press. Good Luck.

I, (Senator/Representative/Mayor/Councilman/Dog Catcher) ______________, am outraged at the Pentagon’s decision to close (enter military facility name) in the great state of (state name). We are going to fight in the BRAC Commission hearings to point out the unique benefits that (military facility name) brings to the overall mission of our armed forces. (military facility name) is in a(n) (rural / urban) area that will be (devastated / destroyed / damaged / badly hurt / mildly annoyed) if this facility is on the final closure list. My office is involved with the governor and local politicians to make sure that (military facility name) is not on the final list.

2005-05-12T16:43:00.000-06:00

This week's Thelma and Louise Award Winner

The estranged wife of New Mexico State Senator Carlos Cisneros, Patsy, dealt out some Northern New Mexico style justice on her cheating husband. She tracked him down, broke into a cabin, whacked him up side the head with a hammer, and now is claiming it was in self defense. A fund is being set up for Patsy's legal fees and to purchase copies of every one of Dr. Phil's books and tapes. Governor Richardson's Film Commission is rumored to be in negotiation with Ms. Cisneros for screenplay rights to the story that will begin filming next year with Jennifer Lopez playing the role of Patsy and Cheech Marin as Carlos.

Stay tuned...............................

Living Wages Ordinance for Duke City?

2005-05-09T19:46:00.000-06:00

Attention Albuquerque communists. The City Council is preparing to debate a living wage ordinance on May 16th. Joining red (communist not electoral map) leaning cities like San Francisco and Santa Fe, the Duke City's politicos are considering requiring businesses to pay higher wages. In the words of the great economist, Thomas Sowell, "the real minimum wage is always zero." Evidently the city fathers are worried that their tatoo wearing, motor cycle riding, ear and nose ring sporting children without their GED will never get a job with good pay. With the so called "Living Wage" law, they probably will never get a job in the private sector. Oh well, there are job openings in the evidence room of APD.